Finding Your Life’s Calling?

As the Catholic Church teaches, every person is called to holiness—the perfection of love, as their primary vocation. We were created for intimate relationship with the Triune God. Marriage, religious life, and the priesthood are all ways to live out this vocation of love. God has a plan for us; he has known from all eternity which path is most suitable for each individual to reach this goal of holiness. We are free to accept or reject God’s call, but we will find our deepest fulfillment only if we are open to listening to his voice. I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the LORD, plans for your welfare, not for woe! Plans to give you a future full of hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)

How can you discover God’s plan for you? Ask him! A life of faith and a relationship with God in Christ Jesus are necessary in order to be able to hear his voice when God speaks. Our advice is to pray, pray, pray! When your heart is open, ready to listen and to respond in prayer and reflection, the Lord will make clear his will for you. Discernment requires not only an open heart but also a head prepared to learn about options and carefully select those choices which will bring greater joy to God, self, and world. If you are feeling an attraction towards cloistered religious life, the invitation of Jesus to Come and see (John 1:39) can help to clear up any doubts or confusion. We encourage you to schedule a visit to our convent in order to meet the Sisters and join us in prayer. For our candidates, we have an Observer Program which allows young women who are drawn to our way of life to spend a few weeks inside the cloister, living with the Sisters and following our schedule. It is an opportunity to find out what our life is really like, with no further obligations. For more information, or to schedule a visit with the Sisters, contact us.

We received from our Founder a deep devotion to this central mystery of our faith. Like him, we strive to glorify the triune God in everything and endeavor to live, pray, work, and suffer under his loving gaze. We contemplate and venerate the presence of the God of love in heaven, in the mystery of the Eucharist, and in the hearts of all. The solemnity of the Most Holy Trinity is the principal feast of all three Congregations founded by St. Arnold

As the Catholic Church teaches, every person is called to holiness, the perfection of love, as their primary vocation. We were created for intimate relationship with the Triune God. Marriage, religious life, and the priesthood are all ways to live out this vocation of love. God has a plan for us; he has known from all eternity which path is most suitable for each individual to reach this goal of holiness. We are free to accept or reject God’s call, but we will find our deepest fulfillment only if we are open to listening to his voice. I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the LORD, plans for your welfare, not for woe! Plans to give you a future full of hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)

How can you discover God’s plan for you? Ask him! A life of faith and a relationship with God in Christ Jesus are necessary in order to be able to hear his voice when God speaks. Our advice is to pray, pray, pray! When your heart is open, ready to listen and to respond in prayer and reflection, the Lord will make clear his will for you. Discernment requires not only an open heart but also a head prepared to learn about options and carefully select those choices which will bring greater joy to God, self, and world. If you are feeling an attraction towards cloistered religious life, the invitation of Jesus to Come and see (John 1:39) can help to clear up any doubts or confusion. We encourage you to schedule a visit to our convent in order to meet the Sisters and join us in prayer. For our candidates, we have an Observer Program which allows young women who are drawn to our way of life to spend a few weeks inside the cloister, living with the Sisters and following our schedule. It is an opportunity to find out what our life is really like, with no further obligations. For more information, or to schedule a visit with the Sisters, contact us.

We received from our Founder a deep devotion to this central mystery of our faith. Like him, we strive to glorify the triune God in everything and endeavor to live, pray, work, and suffer under his loving gaze. We contemplate and venerate the presence of the God of love in heaven, in the mystery of the Eucharist, and in the hearts of all. The solemnity of the Most Holy Trinity is the principal feast of all three Congregations founded by St. Arnold

Practical suggestions for those discerning their call in life are:

  • Daily Mass:   Participating in the daily celebration of the Holy Mass will help you grow in your relationship with the Lord.
  • Sacrament of Penance:   Through frequent confession of sins and the grace of God, you can lead a holy life.
  • Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament:   Inner silence and recollection in the company of the God who is near to us will help you to grow in the spiritual life.
  • Daily Prayer:   Developing a daily habit and pattern of prayer will help you to hear more clearly the call of the Lord.
  • Devotion to the Blessed Mother:   Mary will teach you to do whatever her Son tells you.
  • Spiritual Direction:   Speaking with a priest about your prayer life and seeking advice from him on a regular basis is very helpful in discerning God’s will.

Entrance Requirements for our Congregation

  • between 18 and 35 years of age
  • high school education
  • good mental and physical health
  • capability for development
  • a spirit of faith which is intent on following Christ in the evangelical counsels of chastity, poverty, and obedience
  • inclination for the cloistered contemplative life and readiness to serve the Church’s missionary endeavor therein
  • aptitude for community living

Some of Our Vocation Stories

“Come, follow me.” Every vocation begins with this invitation to place Jesus at the center of one’s life. Yet the Lord calls with remarkable creativity, shaping each invitation in a unique way. No two vocation stories are the same, because each person is called personally and deliberately. This call is an intimate invitation to a deeper relationship and an inner encounter with Jesus Christ. In the meeting of God’s initiative and the human response, grace is given, grace that sustains a wholehearted commitment to serving God’s saving plan for the world.

As my forty-third anniversary of profession draws near, I continue to recall my vocation with gratitude, joy, and wonder! How it all began in many ways continues to be a mystery to me, a mystery of God’s grace at work. One huge ingredient of my vocation was my family. Having been born into a good, happy Catholic family a call to religious life was not something unusual but rather was welcomed. My parents gave a wonderful example of going to daily Mass which made a deep impression on me. I realized how important daily contact with the Lord and the love of the Mass was for them. I followed their example, thereby I’m sure, gaining the graces to hear and follow the Lord’s call in my life. My mother’s oldest sister was a Franciscan and her aunt was a cloistered Good Shepherd. I was especially drawn to my great-aunt and the joy which radiated from her, though her cloistered community held no attraction for me.

The Sisters who taught at my school often spoke about religious life and encouraged vocations. In 7th and 8th Grade there was a Vocation Club at school. We prayed together, discussed various orders, and viewed a film about the School Sisters of Notre Dame who taught me for 12 years. At the end of the film were clips of all the other orders in St. Louis (the film was made in their motherhouse in St. Louis.) I still remember seeing our chapel here at Mount Grace with the Sisters in adoration and two Sisters coming to take their place. There was no identification telling who they were but the beauty of the chapel and the Sisters in the pink habit stayed with me. In 8th grade I found them listed in a book on all the religious serving in the U.S. at that time and so I had a name and an address to contact. It was not until I was in my second year in high school that I finally got in touch and that was sparked by the career day at school when that same film I that had seen in the Vocation Club was shown. Seeing again that chapel and the Sisters made me look up the address which I had written down and placed in my dresser drawer. It was still there and I wrote for information.

When I was twelve years old the habit was what attracted me, by the time I wrote to the Sisters at fifteen, it was the adoration. Also, having read the autobiography of St. Therese of Lisieux, I discovered that cloistered Sisters pray for the entire world. Our parish had yearly Forty Hours and each month a special holy hour with exposition for vocations. I loved those times with the Blessed Sacrament exposed and felt a strong desire to spend my life as an adorer. When I received the information from the Sisters I could not read it enough. When I went for my first visit to our convent in Philadelphia, it just seemed like I had found where God wanted me. When I entered shortly after my graduation from high school, and was taken to my private room, there was a picture of the Sacred Heart and one of the Perpetual Help—coming from a Redemptorist parish named Sacred Heart! I felt I was right at home and thanks be to God, he helped me to adjust and to make my home in the Congregation these past four decades and more. I believe his call is still going out and pray that young women will hear that call and find the joy and fulfillment I have found in a life of adoration and prayer for the world.

I was born on June 27, 1947 (on the feast of Our Mother of Perpetual Help) in north county St. Louis, Missouri. My parents had emigrated as children to America from Sicily. I was the last child of eight to be born in my family, and was born after my parents had celebrated their silver jubilee of marriage. My Mother was 42 and my father was 53 when I was born. My older sister Toni was very instrumental in my vocation. Toni was 21 when I was born. She worked for the railroad as a comptometer operator and would stop by the convent (Mount Grace) for prayers for my parents who were quite sickly. My mother had an almost-fatal heart attack when I was five years old and my father had a series of strokes. Toni told me years later that she would bring me to the chapel (perhaps after age five or so) but I don’t remember her doing it.

Toni gave me a prayer book with a picture inside of a Canadian Sister praying in her cloister before Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. I saw that picture and I wanted to be a nun. After making my first Holy Communion in 1954 (the year St. Pius X was canonized), I went to daily Mass and Holy Communion right up to the time I entered the convent at age 21. At age ten in the fourth grade, I wanted to be a contemplative Sister. I looked up at my fourth grade teacher, a Franciscan, and thought in my heart that she only went half-way as a Sister and I wanted to go the whole way and be a Sister who prays always—a contemplative Sister. During recess time in grade school, I would sneak away to the parish church and pray before the Blessed Sacrament.

When I was in the eighth grade, I told my mom that I wanted to be a nun. Toni was there and she said, You should see the Pink Sisters! So Toni brought me to Mount Grace during the Christmas season. I observed the Sisters entering the sanctuary with veils over their faces, and mysteriously I knew immediately that I wanted to be a Pink Sister, then and there. The thought of being a Pink Sister remained with me every day for the next seven years. All through high school I wanted to be a Pink Sister. Sister Marie Francis, my English teacher in freshman year, gave me her copy of A Right to be Merry to read since I had written my autobiography for class, saying I wanted to be a Pink Sister. Well, I loved the book about cloistered life.

I wrote to all the contemplative orders in Saint Louis—the Carmelites, the Poor Clares, the Passionists, and Redemptoristines—seeing all their colorful habits (the Redemptoristines wore blue, black, and red habits). However, I always kept in mind the Pink Sisters, because I had seen them in person and they were near my home (only seven miles away). I reasoned that all the contemplative orders were just about the same in their lifestyle. At age 18, I visited Mount Grace, asking to enter. But Sister Superior told me that they were no longer accepting 18-year-olds and I would have to work or go to college for a few years. Because my family could not afford college for me, I worked in an office for three years, continuing to go to daily Mass and Holy Communion. Always, every day, I wanted to be a Pink Sister.

At age 21, I entered the Pink Sisters and a profound peace came over me as I knelt at the threshold of the convent. I had dated for six months to find out if I was normal, before entering, but I made my decision to enter religious life. I could clearly see that when God gives a vocation, he asks that you make a free decision. He does not force you, But I knew in my heart that if I did not follow his call, I would never be as happy. In my life, marriage would take second place not first place, and I wanted to be happy. Since I have entered the convent, I have loved the psalms in the liturgy. When I was a very young Sister, the superior asked the community to study the psalms. It was a seed planted and the liturgy has blossomed out ever since for me. The readings, the psalms—the whole liturgy—matches daily, but one has to seek in order to find, just as Our Lord tells us. I found what I was looking for.

I was born and raised in a little village near Cloppenburg, Germany in the diocese of Münster. I was the second youngest in a family of eight children. As a baby I was once near the point of death, and all hope was given up, but God had other plans in store for me. At an early age I felt drawn to the religious life but was not sure how to answer God’s call. Not knowing about cloistered religious, my attention was drawn to active religious. As I grew older two strong desires were constantly before me: a love of our Eucharistic Lord and a love for our Blessed Mother. My first inkling of a contemplative vocation came when I was 21 and one of my classmates entered the Holy Spirit Adoration Sisters in Bad Driburg.

Like my sisters I spent a year learning cooking and housekeeping. During this time I prayed to our Blessed Mother to help me in my search for God’s will regarding a religious vocation. Afterwards I spent a year at home with my family. Then one day, while paging through the Stadt Gottes (the mission magazine of the Divine Word Missionaries), everything became clear when my eyes fell upon a photo of two Sisters kneeling in adoration before the Blessed Sacrament exposed in the monstrance. I could not withdraw my gaze for a long time. I t seemed to me that the Holy Spirit was calling for an immediate response. This is what I so longed for. After speaking with my priestly uncle I was completely at peace. No further search was necessary. When I visited my classmate again at the Blessed Trinity Convent in Bad Driburg, I was confirmed in my desire to enter there.

It was a sacrifice for my dear parents to permit me to leave the family since I was the first one to break the closely-knit home ties. But God’s will was their will and they made no objection whatever and helped me to prepare for my entrance. At the age of 23, on June 5, 1952 (the feast of the great apostle and martyr of Germany, St. Boniface), I entered the cloister. My parents and my sisters accompanied me and later told me that they were proud that God had chosen one of our family to become a religious.

The prayerful and quiet atmosphere of my new home satisfied my every longing. I was blissfully happy for three weeks (as only a postulant can be) when a severe case of homesickness set in. My wise superior refused to give me the train fare home! Before long the homesickness vanished and I have been thanking God ever since for his gift of a contemplative vocation. At the completion of the postulancy I received the rose-colored habit, white scapular and veil, and the name of Sister Mary Cordula in honor of the Immaculate Heart of Mary. My two-year novitiate was spent at our motherhouse in Steyl, Holland. It was a privilege to spend this time at the birthplace of our Congregation.

A week after my first profession of vows I received my first appointment for the United States. In January 1956 I left my dear homeland to travel to our Convent of Divine Love in Philadelphia. After a little more than two years, I was appointed one of the pioneers to begin an adoration chapel and convent in Austin, Texas. I remained there for eleven years and was employed in the kitchen, laundry, ironing, and host baking assignments. Again, in 1969, I followed the Lord’s call to leave everything and come here to Mount Grace Convent. For my Silver Jubilee in 1980, two of my sisters were able to come from Germany to Saint Louis.

For over fifty years now God has given me the strength to accept the sacrifices that his call to the religious life entails, and given me the joy of carrying the cross that goes with this choice. My response to God’s call has led me into this religious community and to an encounter with others who have also heard this call and seek to respond to it.

I am the second of four children born to my parents in Iloilo City, Philippines. Many stories have been told that since I was two or three years old, I desired to be a nun. I would get a big towel, cover my head like a veil, and go to my father and mother to get their blessings. I would also go to my mother’s small altar and cover the Baby Jesus so that he could sleep and not get a tummy ache.

But to me, my vocation started when I was 14 years old, at the Colegio de San Jose run by the Daughters of Charity. I borrowed a book, Story of a Soul by St. Therese of Lisieux. The following year, I was a senior in high school. We had an early typhoon and the left wing of our school was damaged. I headed the campaign to raise money to rebuild it. One teacher suggested that we stage an operetta on the life of St. Therese since it was near her feast day and we all agreed. The one who was to play Therese got appendicitis two weeks before opening night and Mother Principal suggested that I take her part since I already knew the lines. Our St. Therese agreed that she would sing from the wings of the stage, and I would do her acting. We raised the money we needed for the school and even a little more. Meanwhile my vocation started to stir in me and together with a classmate I secretly visited the Carmel in Jaro. She was two years older than I and she was allowed to enter right after graduation. The Sisters at Carmel said that in time they would accept me too but I needed a formal letter with my parent’s permission.

With heart beating loudly I chose February 11 to ask my father for an early graduation gift. I would be graduating from high school in March and would be 16 by the end of May. My father refused permission, saying I was too young to consider that kind of life. Even my mother was not in agreement. My Father Confessor told me to obey my parents. I went to college, majoring in accounting and banking. Upon graduation I wanted to take the exams in Manila to become a certified public accountant, but I got a job at the company where my brother worked instead. After five years, I went home to ask my father if now I could enter the Carmel Monastery. He got a shock and had his first heart attack! My family blamed me and said I was being selfish to only think of myself. I took it as a sign that God did not want me to enter religious life.

World, here I come! I cut my hair and started to use cosmetics. I got a job at an international oil company and almost got married, but God had other plans. I moved to Manila, got my masters degree, and took my board exams. My company sent me to many meetings, and I loved to travel. I have gone around the world twice. I was in Rome when Pope John Paul II was elected and we were dancing as if we knew him. Then on one of those travels I passed by Lourdes, France. After taking a bath in that miraculous water, I felt like all the dirt in me was washed clean. Then I sat in front of the statue of Mary and prayed with a lot of pilgrims. For some reason , I asked God, Now that my brother and sisters are all married and taken care of, what can I do for you? It was as if I heard a voice saying, Come find your rest and work in my vineyard! I got so mad with God. I told him, Why now? I was ready to go anytime when I was still young.

I kept this in my heart and continued working. Finally I went to inquire at the Pink Sisters and the Carmelites in Quezon City. Before I went home the Pink Sisters gave me the application papers to fill out. I had to face my family, and this time I did not ask but just told them that I would enter. The morning of my entrance, I went to a friend’s wedding. After, I drove my car for the last time and went straight to the convent in my wedding fineries. I changed into my white postulant’s habit, but forgot to remove my lipstick. When the Sisters congratulated me, someone mentioned that it was the birthday of one of the Sisters. I kissed her and left lipstick on her cheek!

Quickly I found myself at home and my family eventually came to peace with my decision when they saw that I was happy. I savor fully the joy of entering the house of the Lord!

He called me, and I answered his call. I had a great desire even as a child to be someplace where I could always be close to Jesus, and I thought the answer was the convent. I believe the seed of my vocation was planted on the day of my Baptism, the day when I became a child of the Blessed Trinity. Jesus saw me in my godmother’s arms and smiled, saying to himself, I choose her for my little bride. So he planted the seed, and he himself gave it growth.

I was born in 1934 into a big family in Schaesberg, now Landgraaf, Limburg, in the Netherlands. I was the seventh child, and nine years after me my youngest brother was born. My parents were very good Catholics and had a great devotion to the Holy Eucharist, the Sacred Heart of Jesus, and Our Lady of Perpetual Help. They also loved St. Joseph and St. Gerard Majella.

As soon as I learned to talk, I learned to pray. The whole family would often walk if the weather permitted to a little chapel of Our Lady on a hill which belonged to our parish, about a half-hour walk. We also made a yearly pilgrimage to the shrine of St. Gerard Majella, which was a three-hour walk. I joined them for the first time when I was about six years old. I loved it. I also received my First Holy Communion when I was six years old. After that we went almost every day to Holy Mass and received Communion. My mother told us when we would rather have slept a little longer, There is vacation from school but not from Holy Mass. But she did not push us; she had a way of making the Church attractive.

When I was in fifth grade, the Sister at school suggested that each time we passed a church, we should walk through it, going in one side and coming out on the other. I would go in the church, then hide by the St. Joseph altar and pray there for a while. The Sister also suggested to pray every day for a good vocation. She said it could be any kind of vocation, either marriage or religious life. I followed that advice also, but I did not think about becoming a Sister since I did not like the Sisters at our school. When I was 13 and in the school of economics, the Sisters teaching were Franciscans from Heithuizen and I liked them. I thought that if I ever become a Sister I would join them.

A year later, when I was 14, my sister Fienie suggested that I go with her to the Holy Spirit Mission Sisters who were taking care of the old people in Kerkrade. We could learn many things there and would also have some instructions. I did not want to go, but because I liked Fienie so much, I gave in. After only a few months I found that I really liked the Sisters, and I was happy because we had the opportunity to go to Holy Mass and Benediction every day. They also had a holy hour every week. Every day at Benediction I felt sad when after the blessing the priest returned the Lord to the tabernacle.

When I was about 17, I told my spiritual director who was a Divine Word Missionary that I wanted to be a Holy Spirit Missionary Sister. However, he told me that he believed that I was being called to the contemplative life. He gave me a book on Mother Mary Michael to read. I liked it and although I felt drawn to that way of life, I still wanted to become an active Mission Sister. When I was in the chapel I would count whatever I could to see which was the best between the two Congregations founded by St. Arnold. Always it was the Pink Sisters. Towards the end of the three years that I was in Kerkrade I had a dream of Blessed Maria Virgo, and she called me to herself. She said to me, You will go to the convent and you will have to suffer much, but you will be happy. Now after more than 50 years I can say that this dream came true: I was and still am always happy.

My spiritual director suggested that I should visit the Holy Spirit Adoration Sisters in Steyl and spend a few days there, which I did. I was not yet sure about entering, but those days helped to convince me that I belonged there. The Sisters gave me the papers to apply. I filled in the papers and they gave me permission to enter. My mother wanted me to wait another half-year, but I thought that since the date was set I could not change it. I entered on May 7, 1953, a beautiful spring day with all the fields in blossom. What happiness and peace I experienced, and I never regretted following God’s call. I thank him every day for my beautiful vocation, this undeserved grace. I love him, above all!

One evening, early in my freshman year at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, I was sitting in my room after finishing my homework and wondering what I could do next. The bulletin from the Sunday Mass that I had dutifully attended at the Newman Center (the Catholic Church on campus) was on my desk, and I picked it up to glance through it. I noticed that they had a Mass every weeknight at 9:00pm, and when I looked at my clock I saw that it would be starting in a few minutes. Since the Newman Center was only a block away from my dorm I decided, “Why not?” and walked to the church.

I found a place in the back just as the Mass was beginning. It was very simple, with just a small choir and nothing fancy, but as I sat there soaking it in it was the most beautiful thing I had ever experienced. All around me were young people—people my age—enthusiastically participating in the Mass and there on a weeknight because they wanted to be! I had never encountered anything like it, and it opened up a deep longing in my heart. I had gone to a small Catholic school for grades 1 through 12, but it was definitely not considered “cool” to show any interest in the things of God. I, along with my friends, joined my high school choir so that during the twice-weekly school Masses I could sit in the choir loft and use the time to study for my Spanish quiz in the next period.

I had thought that religion and piety were for old people, but that one Mass in the basement of the Newman Center spoke to a hunger I didn’t even know I had. I went back the next night, and the next, and the next…that was how I began attending daily Mass! I made friends at the Newman Center and started getting involved in their other activities too. I was learning more and more about being a Catholic and became excited about my faith. Meanwhile the Lord was watering the seeds of my religious vocation, but if I had suspected it at the time, I think I would have run in the opposite direction.

I was afraid to even think about my vocation since I knew deep down that if I did start looking at religious life, I would discover that I was in fact being called. Eventually however I had to be honest with myself. By the end of my second year of college, I was ready to be open about what God wanted me to do with my life. My relationship with God was important to me, and I couldn’t pretend any longer that he was number one while at the same time closing myself off to his plan for me. I looked first at an active teaching order that some of my friends were entering, but it didn’t seem right. When my spiritual director suggested the Pink Sisters, I knew right away that it was a fit. I had been visiting their chapel in Lincoln frequently, sometimes with a group from the Newman Center and sometimes by myself. I was attracted to the perpetual adoration like a moth to a flame, and the more I learned about their contemplative-missionary charism, the more it seemed like the Order had been formed just for me. I still had cold feet though, and I told the Lord, “Ok, if that’s what you want, I’ll do it, but I want to finish school first!”

The second semester of my junior year I fulfilled my dream to study abroad. I had always wanted to do it, and when I discovered that my scholarship would pay for it, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity. I spent six months in Malta, a little island in the middle of the Mediterranean Sea. I took advantage of the location to backpack around northern Africa and southern Europe. I met many wonderful people, saw beautiful sights, and had all kinds of adventures. The experience was priceless. I never let go of my desire to enter the cloister, but, well, traveling was fun and there was so much more of the world to see! In the back of my mind I toyed with the idea of putting off my degree for another year so that I could squeeze a few more trips in. For spring break of my senior year some of the friends that I had met in Malta took a trip to Costa Rica. We lived out of our backpacks and stayed in youth hostels just like old times. It was great! One day we were walking along the beach, heading back to the place where we were staying after having explored the rain forest all day. My friends had gotten a little ahead of me and I was watching them play in the surf. Suddenly it was like I heard a voice in my heart: “This will never satisfy you. There is something more than this.” I was having the time of my life in an exotic country with people who were very dear to me. Back home, I loved my family, my job, my college life. But it was true: my longings were even greater than the Pacific Ocean that was stretching out before me, and I knew that God alone could satisfy the desires of my heart.

After graduation, I spent the summer at home with my family (I am the oldest of seven and my youngest brother turned three years old that summer) and took one last trip with my friends. I entered the Holy Spirit Adoration Sisters in the fall of 2001 and made my perpetual vows in November 2009. It hasn’t always been easy, but I have definitely found the place where I am supposed to be. Thanks be to God for his inexpressible gift!

What do you do with a health care professional degree in the convent? Why don’t you stay in the world, where you can use your knowledge and help lots of people?”

My answer is: there are many more talented and skilled people who can do that work, but not many are called to be contemplatives. As a matter of fact, it takes much courage to respond to this call, but God gifts with exceptional graces those who do so. I was very happy, and I loved the people I worked with and the patients I served. But deep inside of me there was emptiness, a thirst that I could not explain. I felt incomplete. The satisfaction I gained from my job was only transitory.

My journey into the contemplative life began, as much as I can remember, when I was 6 years old. I had made my first Holy Communion and my family was very active in the parish. We were involved in Catechism, music ministry, cleaning, and decorating the church for certain festivities among other tasks. I became very familiar with the changes in the Liturgical Year, visits to the Blessed Sacrament, Benediction, etc. Every time I heard the song: “Lord, You Have Come to the Seashore,” inexplicably, tears welled up in my eyes. As I grew older, I got involved in youth ministry at a diocesan level. I learned about the Liturgy of the Hours and some Sisters who worked in our parish instilled my curiosity about a possible religious vocation. I naturally brushed it off, for I was about to graduate from high school and I had it all figured out: I will be serving people, sharing my faith with them, perhaps as a missionary.

The question about vocation kept haunting me for years, though. I remember that during my second year of college I met a Sister who served in campus ministry. There was a joy in her that I had never seen before. This triggered all the more my curiosity for religious life and I started discerning. The answer that always came after every retreat or day of recollection I went to was to continue my studies. I started to get discouraged and looked in another direction: maybe I am called to be a missionary after all and even to have a family.

My studies intensified in Dental School and as I was away from home, I treasured my independence very much. I went to parties and enjoyed going with my friends on road trips, got involved in choir and other activities, and studied long nights, especially the nights before big tests (of course). I even started dating during this busy time. Because I had to stay at college some weekends in order to study, my “church time” was reduced to only Sundays, and, if there was no ride, I had to stick to “TV Mass.” I used to get very upset while watching, especially at the time of communion. I could not stop the tears. I felt away, so far away from God! As time elapsed, I got involved in a relationship and through it I discovered something strange. I felt divided and my heart constricted, as I could not share with others as I used to. The fact that he did not regularly practice his faith although he was Catholic brought many problems that affected our relationship. Also, the question about a possible religious vocation was intensified.

After we parted ways, I went to a vocation discernment program that had just opened in our diocese. It took me two years to finally decide that religious life was what God wanted of me. The questions were: “Where?” and, “How fast can I pay off my student loans?” After passing the Dental Boards I found three part-time jobs (the amount of time did not reach 40 hours of work, though), which sometimes found me asking: “Which job do I go to today?” Then I decided to look for job opportunities in the Continental US. I moved from my native Puerto Rico to the mountains of North Carolina where I served as a rural county dentist in a program that gave priority to children of low income families.

At the same time, I contacted the local parish priest for spiritual direction. He encouraged me to go to daily Mass as my schedule allowed and to pray in my free time as much as I could to help in my discernment. He gave me a brochure of different active congregations, which I thought at first would be good because I could use my professional skills. Nothing appealed to me. I was sad and becoming discouraged. Then I remembered during one of my previous retreats a Sister had told me that I had a contemplative mind at prayer. I wondered, “What is that?” Then I saw that there were contemplative religious communities. It started to attract me. My spiritual director was very inclined to the Carmelite spirituality, so I looked on the Internet, but neither the Carmelites, Poor Clares, or Benedictines appealed to me. Maybe the Visitation Nuns… and then, there it was: Holy Spirit Adoration Sisters. I thought: “Adoration, that’s something I like.” I clicked and the first thing I saw was: Pink??? Is this approved by the Church? I never saw such a thing. Then I saw their charism of prayer for the sanctification of priests and for the missionary activity of the Church in perpetual adoration of the Blessed Sacrament and I totally liked it.

I went on to look up their Founder on the Internet and a strange web site with all sorts of calumnies about him came up. This happened close to his canonization in 2003—of which I did not know about. I became discouraged and even though I printed the information I decided not to show my spiritual director. But the truth was that I could not get the thought of these Sisters out of my mind. I was in awe! When I met my spiritual director I showed him the results of my research, but kept back the paper. He said: “What else do you have there?” I took the page and almost reluctantly showed him the paper. It was a picture of our chapel in St. Louis. He immediately exclaimed “Those are the Pink Sisters!” I said: “Do you know them?”” He went on to explain that while he was at St. Charles Borromeo Seminary in Philadelphia he used to go to pray in the Pink Sister’s Chapel there. There are no words for the relief and peace that I felt. I contacted the Sisters and visited them in Philadelphia. They prayed for me until I finished paying my student loans almost two years later. I am finally with the Lord, safe in his abode of prayer and adoration. The search is over! I thank him with all my heart for giving me this beautiful vocation!

I believe God gave me the first indication that he had given me the grace of a religious vocation at the early age of six when my father died rather unexpectedly after less than two days of illness. Although I was quite young, his death had a strong impact on me and awakened in me the reality of life that we love and we lose. This by no means is a pure motive for embracing religious life, but as we know God will use a variety of means to get us where he wants us. At age nine I read a feature story in the magazine section of our Sunday newspaper aboutthe Trappist monks, in Gethsemane, Kentucky. The article related that the words: “God Alone” were inscribed above their entrance portal. I was very much impressed. It was the first time I became aware of contemplative communities of Religious. About the same time a young woman acquaintance of my sister joined the Order of Poor Clare Nuns, a strictly cloistered community of Religious women, and I would listen almost spellbound as my sister would relate features of their lifestyle. From this age until I was about eleven whenever someone asked me what I would be when I grew up I always said, “A Poor Clare!”

When I entered my teens I went through all the normal stages of adolescence, and my vision for the future began to change to the possibility of married life and raising a family. I seriously considered this possibility because of my widowed mother who had been orphaned of both parents by age nine and had buried her second husband at age 42. I certainly did not want to make life more difficult for her. However, God had other plans for me and the desire for contemplative religious life became stronger than ever during my last three years in high school. I graduated in 1951 and at that time college was not as essential for education as it is today. The thought of going to college for at least two years or of working for a short time was always met with a firm conviction that God did not want me to wait. I spoke to my mother about how I felt, and added the words, “but I don’t want to cause you more suffering.” She told me that if I felt God was calling me to contemplative religious life I should go and not worry about her. When I think of my mother’s love and great faith I recall the words from the Book of Ecclesiastes, “and her children rose up and called her blessed.”

The first thing I had to do was choose a contemplative community. One day as I was working at home, I asked myself the question, “which contemplative community should I enter?” Quite surprisingly the words came to my mind, “The Pink Sisters.” I literally stopped what I was doing and stood motionless because I never considered the “Pink Sisters” although I lived almost all my life only a couple blocks down from Mount Grace convent. After my first visit to the parlor of Mount Grace to speak with the Sister in charge, I was convinced that this is where God wanted me. I felt a strong attraction to the Holy Spirit Adoration Sisters and my desire to embrace cloistered-contemplative life grew more powerful. I entered two months after my high school graduation. Now I can look back on more than a half-century of vowed religious life and say a heartfelt, “thank you, Lord!”